God Hates The World

Okay, I realise that this post and my last post have been semi-political. And I'm trying to not make this political. But please look at this site:


http://www.godhatestheworld.com/


if the name was a little bit too subtle for you. It is a site that documents which countries God hates. The ones in red are the ones that God has a problem with. You can even click on the image and it will tell you why God hates that particular country.


here is an excerpt:


Every year that evil country known as Australia holds numerous Fag Pride Parades. Here are just a few examples of how these arrogant beasts roll: Pride March Victoria, Melbourne, Australia; Pride March Adelaide, SA, Australia: Gay Mardi Gras Parade, Sydney, Australia.



And there are many other reasons for God's hate toward the average Aussie. We lost out because of Heath Ledger acting in Brokeback Mountain.


They even have some other very convincing evidence that had me nodding along thinking:

"Hmmm, yes God probably does hate me"


46% of Australian marriages end in divorce. What is wrong with you people!?!


De 22:22 If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.


Take that and smoke it on your barbies!


I will take that and smoke it on my barbie.


I mean I don't mind that these people seem to be very angry, just that it sounds like it is written by a 16 year old girl on Myspace.


At one point they even call Catholics: Goofy.

Fags are allowed to adopt children in the Australian Capitol Territory and Western Australia. Stepparent adoption is allowed in Tasmania….um…..ok!?!


I mean, you can't expect people to take you seriously. Especially seeing as how they seem to have done such extensive research then throw it away by talking like a semi-retarded person.


Sure it says in the Bible that divorce is bad. But God seems to overreact, I mean if the penalty for cheating on your husband is death, where is God going to go for more serious offenses?


He has punished himself into a corner.

According to this site God even has a problem with Ethiopia...come on God Ethiopia? That is a bit unnecessary don't you think?

The people of Ethiopia believe they are special because of a few things: 1) They are first mentioned by Moses in the book of Genesis at Chapter 2; 2) They had a Queen, at one point, who had a little fear of the God who made her so she traveled a far distance to meet and greet Good King Solomon and hear the wisdom that he was given by God Almighty; 3) They are still here after all these many thousands of years. That’s it, that’s all they’ve got!

Am I the only one who read this and drew a parallel to Myspace bitch talk?

Yep, that bitch Ethiopa think she is so damn hot. But so totally isn't, the boys just like her because she wears those skanky miniskirts and puts out like a slut.

But to the people of this website I do have a question.

Presuming God is the creator, i.e. the one who created us and everything around us, why would he create world just so he could hate it or put things in it that he hates?

Or does God act in mysterious ways that we cannot understand? and if so how can you be so sure he hates the world?

yep, post just got profound.

Barack Obama; The Antichrist

Obama Youth Brigades
(Like Hitler) If you control the youth you control the future. Children are being spoon fed propaganda about the Global Warming/Green movement, told to spy on their neighbors/parents, being trained as boy scouts by homeland security to fight potential terrorists (war veterans) and take away guns.

I found this and many articles similar to it on this blog:
http://www.barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com/

And it is all very funny but at the same time very depressing. But I am glad that as a youth I now know that Obama is trying to control me as Hitler would do. I'm also being spoon fed propaganda about helping the environment, and I now know to hate the environment as much as I possibly can. And if I had a dollar for every time I've attacked a terrorist and it turned out to be a war veteran I would have at least $3.85.

What I really love about this little excerpt is that it implies that Obama has some kind of vendetta against War Veterans. Why would anyone have a vendetta against war veterans? Other than just being evil?

I can see it now, Obama sitting in his oval office. The lights are off because if light touches him he will turn to stone. He smiles quietly to himself, rubbing his hands maniaclly. He lets out a small laugh, which slowly escalates to a hearty and resonant one. He throws his head back and directs his chilling chuckle to the ceiling. When his fit has subsided he smirks and says under his breath:
"Ï'm coming for you War Veterans"

I kind of feel sorry for Obama. It's sad that crazy people seem to hate him. I mean someone has even put into Yahoo! questions:
Is Obama the Antichrist?
Because of course if anyone knows it's the people who use Yahoo!.

I even read about this group who believe that Obama is the Antichrist and is going to end the world by bringing about a one world government.

As the story goes: On the day that Obama brings about the new world order he will reveal himself to be Satan and it will start to rain blood. But Jesus Christ will descend from the heavens with a fiery sword and duel with him.

yes...They believe Jesus is going to duel with Barack Obama while it is raining blood.

Normally I am a strong advocate for letting people believe what they want, but seriously?

Even the well informed people at http://www.conservapedia.com/ seem to have it in for him.

Arguing that he is a 'Muslim' because he does things like:

• Pronounces Pakistan the Muslim way not the American way.


• He was once quoted as saying "Muslim Americans have enriched America"


• And he even said that there needs to be understanding reached between Muslims and the rest of the world.

Sounds like tolerance and acceptance to me, but not in America. In America that is queer, commie, Muslim talk.

And what really, really gets me about the argument that Obama is a Muslim is that it rests upon the fact that being Muslim is inherently bad. Which of course it isn't.

I have realised while writing this, that if it turns out that if Obama is the Antichrist I will look pretty silly. However that is a risk I am willing to take.

And if you are ever after a laugh check out http://www.conservapedia.com/ it is basically a wikipedia that doesn't even make a pretence of objectivity. I especially enjoyed the article on the evil homosexual agenda.

Jurassic Fight Club

Ladies and Gentleman I may have found the greatest television show on the planet.

Now imagine if you will the dimly lit FOX creative director's board room. A soft breeze is rolling through the window and the slight crinkle of the venetian blinds is all that can be heard in the silence. The director is in a dark brood as him and his team try to think of a new show. The anticipation is thick in the air.

Then suddenly the mailboy says:
"Well people like dinosaurs...and also I liked fight club..."
The director then leaps up and shouts:
"BY GOD! YOU LITTLE GENIUS"
and thus Jurassic Fight Club is born.

Now if you haven't guessed already the show basically answers the question if these two dinosaurs got into a fight who would win. And it may be the greatest concept for a television show ever created, except maybe this:
Totally Awesome Dinolords




I think that, while Totally Awesome Dinolords may sound ridiculous. It is where we are headed. Eventually people will tire of Jurassic Fight Club and begin to wonder which dinosaur would win in a race. I know I would certainly watch that show. But alas, until such a time as we have the technology to accurately simulate Dinosaur Hot Rod races we will have to suffice with just them fighting.

If you are into dumb, funny, violence all revolving around Dinosaurs then I recommend Jurassic Fight Club.
3 o'clock on FOX 8.

Never Have I Felt Like More of a Man

Now to those of you who know me, you will probably know I am not the manliest of men. Now this doesn't bother me much, I mean I'm not a screaming handbag it's just my conversations don't tend to go along the lines of:

"fucking chicks, fucking football, fucking beer, fucking chicks, fucking manual labour"

However the other day I found a video that made me want to wear a wife beater, drink beer, and be ignorant to women's feelings.

This here's the MANtage



However in my moment of testosterone fuelled manliness I realised that I have not done a single thing in this video. Not a single one.

So as quickly as it had come my surge of manliness dissipated and I felt like watching Titanic and eating a ludicrous amount of cookie dough.

The morale of this story of course being if this video makes you feel as bad as it makes me feel, call me up and we can watch Titanic and talk about how dreamy Leonardo Di Caprio is.

Drugs, Ethical Dilemmas and German Techno

I started reading Alice in Wonderland the other day because I'm going to an Alice in Wonderland themed party and I figured I had better do my character research.
(I'm going as tweedle dee)
Anyway, so I'm about halfway through it and I am enjoying it a lot, but I heard somewhere that Lewis Carrol was smoking Opium when he wrote it.

Which in my mind raised an ethical dilemma, they tell you from when you are but a mere child that drugs are bad. However if it weren't for opium Lewis Carrol wouldn't have written Alice in Wonderland.

so you see my dilemma, and after spending a tense 13 minutes slaving over this I have come to a conclusion.

People should be allowed to do drugs if they promise they will then write a memorable piece of literature. And it doesn't even have to be literature, it could be a song or even an intepretive dance.

But it has to be brillant. Imagine, if you will, a world where the junkies bumming for a ciggarette did it through world class ballet or in an excellent and engaging prose. It'd be a good world, so Kevin Rudd if you are reading this I hope you are getting some ideas.

Nandrew, the guy who made this video, got into the idea of drugs being an essential part of the creative process.


yeah, they were on so many drugs, I'm surprised they are still alive.


And if you actually like this sort of music check out this site:

http://www.synthtopia.com/



It is just a site that recommends and reviews slightly bizzare synth and techno bands.

Star Trek

The other night me and a few of my companions were out on the town up to no good. We were expressing our teenage angst by being less than polite to people and even wearing slightly unusual clothes, we were trouble makers alright. We then thought, what could we do to really stick it to the man?

Obviously the answer to this question is go and see Star Trek, so that is what we did. Now at first I thought it would kill an hour and a half of my life and that would be it. I assumed it would all be CGI and I would sit there rolling my eyes thinking: "This CGI is so lame". For you see, CGI and I have not gotten along since George Lucas decided to kill my childhood with the Star Wars prequels and Indiana Jones 4.

However the CGI in this movie was really good. In fact the whole movie was rather good. I mean it wasn't massively mind expandingly brilliant, but it made me laugh occasionally, things blew up and all in all I started to get into it.

I mean, I'm not much of a trekkie, I'd shake hands with Chewbacca before Spock. But I did know some of the characters and got alot of the references which were actually done quite well, not in the tacky George Lucas sort of way.

Infact through the process of writing this I have realised why I liked it so much. George Lucas was nowhere near it, it did not make me want to gouge out my eyes with the corner of my Revenge of the Sith DVD. It was a remake, that used CGI but it didn't have irritating sidekicks, ridiculous stunts (Shia La Beouf swinging through trees with monkeys...???) and the CGI wasn't overused to the point were it looked like a PS2 game.

So kudos to George Lucas for not ruining another movie. And if you are off to see a movie I strongly recommend seeing Star Trek.

Bible in a Minute

Are you annoying and opinionated? Do you enjoy debating things of little consequence? Does your opinion matter more than everyone elses?

If the answer to these questions is yes, you are probably the sort of person to debate the Bible with a religious person. However you are probably really lazy right? You can't be bothered to actually read the damed thing but you still want to attack people with your oh so clever insights.

Well do I have the solution for you:
That's right it is the amazing 'Bible In a Minute'


Now, go forth and irritate people.

But seriously, if you are intrested in Religion you should check out some people who actually write seriously about it. Richard Dawkins for instance is quite good. I read his The God Delusion and it is intresting. I personally think he is a bit of a prat, but this opinon is not shared by all and regardless it is well worth a read. I also hear that the Blind Watchmaker is quite good.

http://www.amazon.com/God-Delusion-Richard-Dawkins/dp/0618680004

Here is a link to Amazon books, which will give you an overview of it, a rating, that sort of thing. And if you're really hardcore you can even buy it, or just find it in a library which is what I would do.

Three Imaginary Boys

The Cure are probably the biggest band in the Alternative/Goth/Emo/Pop/Darkwave/Eighties genre and are one of my favourite bands.

I have however realised that people do have a preconception about The Cure. I realised this when I was walking to school one day wearing a Cure t-shirt. Two charming young men drove past me in their 'fully sick' Commodore, their matching rat tails were blowing majestically in the wind caused by their 'hectic' speeding. These two rather intelligent young men deemed it necessary to yell at me:

"The Cure?! Go eat a baby, you emo!"

To which, using all my dazzling wit, responded with a four letter word followed by "off!"

Now, I guess having the impression that The Cure is inherently depressing is not too far from the truth. Alot of their music isn't exactly cheery, which is why Three Imaginary Boys is such a good album.

It is The Cure's early work and is very different to their more well known stuff. The majority of the songs are actually upbeat and quite fast, rather than the slow depressing Cure we have come to know and love.

This album also features their iconic song Boys Don't Cry. But in my opinion this song while it is the best known is not the best on the album. My favourites are Killing An Arab, Fire in Cairo and 10:15 Saturday Night.

This first one, Killing an Arab actually was banned in America after 9/11 for fears it might insight violence towards Arabs. However, before you jump to any conclusions and raise your eyebrows in a disgusted manner, this song is not racist. It is about Albert Camus' book The Outsider. So don't worry it isn't racist it is just pretentious.

Killing an Arab


Fire In Cairo





10:15 Saturday Night

If you like this sort of thing then definetly check out the Album as it is much the same. And just for those of you who haven't heard it, here is Boys Don't Cry. Just so when you get into a conversation and someone says they like Boys Don't Cry you can say "Boys Don't Cry is alright, but I prefer some of the other songs of that album, like Fire in Cairo and 10:15 Saturday Night" causing the person you're talking to to think you are amazingly cultured.



And if you really like what you hear check out this site:
http://www.last.fm/music/The+Cure
it is pretty much a list of their discography plus similar bands, you can even buy their music here. Or just look at the album names and use torrents, it's up to you.

When a prank goes too far

Now don't get me wrong I do love a good prank. Being part of a group that is systematically cruel to an individual is one of the small pleasures I can still enjoy. However I do think that there is a limit. A prank can go too far.

The following is what I feel a prank in good taste is



(That is a video of me from a couple of years ago)

Now there are certain things a prank in bad taste has, for example: I think that one should not prank a child under 5. I also think it may be inappropriate to make this child think they are about to die. And it is probably in poor taste to make said child think a zombie is going to eat them. This is just a view I hold that I have now discovered is not shared by the Japanese television watching demographic.




Okay, I'll admit that this video is hilarious and I did laugh very hard when I watched it. And maybe that's okay, maybe I need to be more Japanese in my outlook, sure that kid will probably be talking about zombies to his thearpist in later life, but it was really funny. And for the Japanese that seems to be enough justification for doing something outrageous. So I think from now on I am going to be as Japanese as possible. I'll eat sushi, watch anime and completely disregard my moral compass, life will be good.

The Ewok Problem; Is There a Solution?

Today I've decided to talk about a rather controversial topic and before I start, so as not to run the risk of offending anyone who feels passionately about this topic as many people do, I just want to say that I respect all shades of opinion on the Ewok debate. However, the topic of Ewoks is rarely raised in casual conversation. It seems as if it has reached a state of taboo in our society and I say that it is not healthy. If we do not talk about Ewoks how can an understanding ever be reached? if parents don't discuss Ewoks with their children, when they get to school they will be confused in Star Wars conversations as they try to pretend they have seen the movies. There have even been cases where families have been ripped apart by the emotional rift caused by the Ewoks.

So as you can see Ewoks are no laughing matter.Indeed, the rivalry Ewoks cause is worse than that of the Bloods and the Crips, Israel and Palestine, even the divide between pirates and ninjas.

You are probably disgusted by my frequent use of the word Ewok, but please read on as you may learn something.

Firstly, to all those who do not know an Ewok is a furry alien that is only a meter tall. They were featured in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and their inclusion in the film sparked much heated Internet debate.

People claimed that the Ewoks were just added for the children and to sell toys. Some people even went so far as to say that they ruined the first trilogy of star wars. People complained that it didn't make sense that cuddly teddy bear aliens could beat storm troopers. There have even been movements formed, such as the Anti Ewok League:

On the other side of the fence are the people who support the Ewoks. The people who say that they were a good addition to the film, and were quite cute and funny. With the supporters making heartfelt dedications to them such as the Ewok Gospel Song



Now I have reached a compromise, a way for Ewok supporters and haters to live in peace; understanding and acceptance are the only things that can heal a void this big.

so to the Ewok haters I say can you concede that the Ewoks did throw a raging treetop party?

And to the Ewok Lovers I say can you not agree that the Ewoks beating storm troopers doesn't make sense?

If the two sides can atleast agree to these points there is hope for the future, hope for a world where Ewok wars don't tear families, countries and Internet forums apart.

Thank you for listening.

King Lear

I assume that if you are reading this you are ridiculously indie. I can see you now, sitting in a coffee shop with your frappe latte machiatto double shot espresso wearing an unusual hat and a waistcoat or cardigan. Browsing the Internet on your Mac smiling smugly to yourself as you open Linux . In fact you are probably this guy,

So when I say Shakespeare you probably roll your eyes and say:

"pffft, he is so commercial"

But I'm not going to talk about some mainstream Macbeth or Romeo and Juliet. The sort of play you hate because you've been dragged along to some shitty high school performance where attention depraved teenagers butcher the poetry of Shakespeare by equating dramatic tension with yelling really really loud.

No, I'm going to talk to you about Macbeth's little brother King Lear my absolute favourite play.

Below is an image by Scott Paul Gordon of the climax of the play.




King Lear is the story of an old and senile king who has decided to divide his kingdom between his daughters based on how much they love him. His daughters all suck up to him except one who tells him how it is and that he is a crazy old man.

King Lear doesn't like this and banishes her and some more stuff happens but more intresting than the main story is the subplot with the greatest Shakespeare character in existence: Edmund The Bastard.

Edmund is the villain and uses his sneaky, sneaky ways to seize power and manipulate everyone around him. I won't ruin the ending for you, but I seriously recommend getting your hands on this play. Unfortunately reading a play from a book is batshit boring and anyone who says different has issues.

And I couldn't find any film adaptions except those dodgy BBC ones, however there was one very cool adaptation I found called Ran. It is a Japanese adaptation. It is rather slow with the director deeming it appropriate for every now and then to spend a minute or two admiring scenary. But other than that it is a brillant adaptation.

They did change the character of Edmund from the bastard son to a knife wielding slut bent on revenge which I feel is equally as awesome.

However if you get the chance to see this play performed by a group of thespians that aren't weird and irritating teenagers who barely understand their characters let alone how to potray them, I strongly recommend you go see it.

and to any teenage actors out there I apoligise, I wasn't talking about you I was talking about all those other kids.

Nick Cave: Murder Ballads

The first album I'm going to endorse, is Murder Ballads by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Murder Ballads is an excellent album. As said this album is from Nick Cave who could very well be the sexiest man alive.


Murder Ballads is probably one of his better known albums. It is a concept album, and as the name alludes, it is an album about murder. Everysingle song is about some kind of messed up, chilling, traumatizing murder and it is brilliant.


However if murder is not your thing, probably steer away from this album, as the death count at the end of 10 songs reaches 64.


But the album is so much more than just senseless murder and being creepy for the sake of being creepy. The lyrical genius of Nick Cave coupled with his sinister voice make this one of the more intense albums I've listened to.


Now you may be thinking that you've heard of this album before, and you probably have as it was his most commercially successful album. Nick Cave was even nominated as best male artist by MTV but because Nick Cave is such a badass he had them withdraw the request.



Nick Cave even did what I would consider impossible, he made Kylie Minogue...good.

He sings a duet with her, called Where the Wild Roses Grow and it is excellent, probably one of my favourite of two songs on the album.

The video is pretty good as well, and if you like this try to look up O'Malley's Bar it's from the same album and honestly when I heard it it sent chills up my spine definetly worth checking out.
I hope you enjoy it, and if you do decide to get the album I would be wary with using torrents.

I mean, I use them all the time, I'm not trying to be preachy or anything. But considering the content of Nick Cave's album are you sure you want to rip this guy off?

My Toothpaste is Trying to Kill Me

I have realized over the past seventeen years of my life, that toothpaste will be my untimely demise.

Don't ask me how I know this, I just do. And thinking about this has made me wonder, what have I done with my life?

Nothing really, I've bummed around, watched television, read a couple of good books, watched some more television, watched some movies and listened to some good music.

I have also realised that it has been the plight of educated men since the birth of reason back in Ancient Greece, to share knowledge in the hope of bettering ourselves and understanding the how and the why.

Well, I may not be an educated man, but before I meet my untimely end I have decided to turn to you, the internet, and fill your minds with the things I have seen and done.

So yes, it has become my goal, no my duty, to tell you about some good books, some movies and some good albums.

Please, hear what I say and take it forward to the world.